The Great Pancake Caper part III
Greg had eluded the FBI for over six months now. He had gone from one disguise to the next, alternately being “Squeaky” Fromme, a biker from Pittsburgh, Pat Boone, and several religious disquises, and he needed inspiration for something really clever.
“Placing Henna on your body is like putting out a wish to the universe.” the thought suddenly echoed through his mind. Where had he heard that? He was sure it would come to him, and he was puttering around the kitchen of his motel room, mixing the batter for some really good pancakes.
Henna.... Henna.... What else did he know about Henna? Hmm, maybe he could get some really good Henna from a big chain-store. He was currently wearing his hair long, and dark brown. He looked a little like the singer from Barefoot Lizard. He jumped on his ‘57 Harley and headed for the mall. On the way he saw several astonauts selling girl scout cookies out of the back of an old pickup.
He walked into “Head, Hair, Skin and Nails!” and bought the “Black and Decker Home Henna Kit,” which had powder that was kind of brown. He was sure he could acheive excellent results with this kit. The girl at the counter assured him he was right. Imagine his surprise when it had little effect! He was so upset. He didn’t know what to do! He decided to log on to the internet, to write obscene and mysterious messages on various message boards, when an idea hit him.
“I’ll just go to http://www.anankehennaart.com/howto.html and they’ll be able to tell me what I need to know!” his dazed mind reeling with the notion.
“Well it says right here that the powder should be bright green!”
“And doh! It says you can’t get it from a chain!” he smacked himself in the forehead with a ball-peen hammer.
He came to a column that said "appropriate ceremonies for Henna:"
*Celebration of self spirituality
*Familiarity with one's body
*Fun
*Healing
*Love & Sexuality
*Luck
*Menarche & Menopause
*Protection
*Sisterhood
*Weddings
*On the lam from the FBI
So he ordered the appropriate Henna, relaxed and waited for it to come in the mail, all the while eating all different flavors of pancakes, and watching more Jerry Springer than he knew he could handle. He rarely stuck his head out of the motel, lest the FBI be closing in. Finally, it came! He got right to work, following all the instructions to the letter. When he was done, he could scarcely believe it!
Not only would he be hard to recognize, but he had never looked better! He could start a new life now, fall in love, perhaps even marry and have children, not to mention make lots of money and help charities, all because of Henna.
But first, a nice breakfast of pancakes...
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About the author:
Mellowin man has worked as a cab driver, a waiter, a mortgage banker, a factory drone, and many other interesting jobs, giving him life experience to fulfill his ultimate dream: Writing pointless stories that mean nothing. He knew he needed a reliable back-up career, so he also toils at becoming a rock star. He first became interested in pancakes as a small child, finding them a yummy treat for breakfast. As for Henna, let's just say it changed his life. "There's nothing like a good Henna, right after breakfast," mellowin man has been known to say, on more than one occasion.
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"We count our miseries carefully, and accept our blessings without much thought."
-Chinese Proverb
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This site was finally updated December, 2007.
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