Ananke Designs - Henna Traditions - Why We Henna

Why does henna work? 
It works because (traditional) henna is SLOW.
You have to TOUCH each other.  You have to be STILL.
You have to appreciate each others' newness, awe, experience, terror,
sexuality, and blood borne responsibility for the continuation of
humanity.

If you have a daughter, hold her until you cry.
If you have a Mom, hold her until you cry.
It's all henna.

• Henna decorating is a wonderful art for marking celebrations! This intriguing art form has been practiced for over 5,000 years by many cultures throughout North Africa, South Asia, & the Middle East. Decorating is not specific to one particular religion or ethnicity, and is used for both traditional & non-traditional events.
• Gathering together for an activity such as henna decorating can bring the women of both families together in a very interesting and wonderful way.
• A dark henna stain is said to be a sign of strong love.
• A bride with an elaborate henna design is said to have had more sexual insight passed down to her from the elder women in both families.
• The stain on your body for the next few weeks is a constant reminder of the special events surrounding your wedding day.
• Everyone has to wait on you hand and foot while you wait for your henna to stain.  New brides are traditionally excused from housework until their henna patterns fade away.

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This hand was drawn by the great Becca Hulshizer.

I have included the following paragraphs about henna and its relation to some traditional wedding practices in other cultures.  The following are excerpts from:

Henna's Significant Role in Marking Internationally Celebrated Life Events
--by April Petratos

Physical adornments to mark celebrations and rituals are primarily, but not exclusively, a female rite. This is illustrated in the wedding ceremony, pregnancy, birth, religious celebration, and beauty. In the wedding, the focus is more on the bride than the groom. The bride is more elaborately bedecked, more deliberately attractive than the groom, and stands out above even the bridesmaids and female relatives; in essence, she is queen for the day. Pregnancy and birth are almost exclusively mother-centered celebrations for obvious reasons, and in religious holidays women are most often the more brightly and festively arrayed. In beauty rituals, the 'fairer sex' is just that, and decorate their bodies and faces much more than men do by means of makeup, elaborate hairstyles, clothing, and jewelry. These are universal commonalities to most cultures; the only major difference between the American and exotic far away cultures is henna decoration's role in these events.

Female camaraderie, or 'female bonding' as it is lightly referred to in American culture, exists in both American and international cultures, and tends to revolve around conversation, beauty, and human touch. In mainstream America, ladies may go together to a spa, beauty parlor, nail salon, or to one another's homes to engage in beautifying rituals, pamper each other, and share local gossip. They may touch each other in admiration of another's beauty which is taken as a very friendly and warm symbol of female affection. One may teasingly tug at another's hair, pat each other on the back or shoulder, and hold another's hands to admire a nice manicure, lovely fingers, or fine jewelry. A lady may touch another's arms in conversation to show understanding, sympathy, or to demonstrate mirth. In the Middle-Eastern/North African/South Asian cultures, it is less likely and even rare for the women to go outside their own homes to a public establishment for pampering and beauty purposes (with the exception of the "hammam" - public women's baths), and many of the above beauty services may not even exist in such places. A woman or her female relatives may have a henna decorating party which satisfies these same bonding mannerisms. One woman will hold a friend's or relative's hand (or arm or foot) to decorate it; a gift of beauty, touch, and trust, from one to the other. Lovely clothes and jewelry will be similarly admired, as will the color and texture of one's hair. Some may style or braid another's hair, or apply a henna to color and condition the hair. Many ladies will sympathize with another's plight, congratulate one for their good fortune, and in general show good will by touching, much in the way Americans do. And, all the while, interesting stories and local gossip will be shared and enjoyed.

A man going off to battle will have, depending on which region he comes from, a plain dark henna stain applied to one of his palms to remind him of his wife's love and of their wedding, both of which are purported to have strong powers of protection. A man from a different region may instead bring a small container of henna paste made by his female relatives and wife in prayer, and will paint some on when he feels himself about to face peril.

In the foreign cultures as well as American, no one can or will out-shine the bride. For that reason, the relatives and friends at the henna parties will have some decorations applied, but nothing on the scale or elaborateness of the bride's. The future bride is treated like a princess in some of the foreign cultures, and derided in others to keep her humble. Either way, she is entertained to keep her mind off being nervous and scared, to pass time, and to put her in a receptive mood to learn the things that are passed down from generations of her female ancestors. There is music, dancing, singing, good food and teas, and the bride-to-be is dressed regally. In some cases, she is to remain perfectly still and not speak, and in others, she is not to do any housework, walk around or use her hands. During this time she may have her hair hennaed by a happy laughing woman for good luck and beauty. She will definitely have a rich and ornate henna decoration applied by her loving family and friends. How much henna decoration she will have depends on how wealthy her family or future family is; an affluent bride will have henna decorations traversing from finger tips to shoulders, all over her feet, ankles, legs, and often over many other parts of her body as well. In order to send the bride off right and with the best of blessings and luck, it is desirable for the henna decoration stains to be as dark as possible on the skin. The darker red or red-brown it is, the longer it will last. The darker and longer it lasts is said to be representative of how long and deep the love between husband and wife will be. In a region of India, a henna mark is made on the bride's face between her eyes, and it is said the darker red it is and longer it lasts, the more and longer the mother-in-law will love and accept the bride - something essential to the happiness of the marriage and family.

Another aspect of henna decorating for the wedding ceremony is the bridal chamber instruction given to the bride. This also helps pass time, gives the bride more confidence in how to please her husband, and how to keep physical love alive in their marriage. Often bawdy songs will be sang, suggestive dances done and blatantly sexual tales shared. This is entertaining to all present, and also is supposed to help make the bride excited about the honeymoon. For the bridegroom to have a bride with lots of intricate henna decorations is considered very good luck; the more hennaed she is, the longer it took to decorate her. The longer it took to decorate, the more blessed she is and more instruction she was given in the erotic arts; a win-win for both bride and groom.

For the American newlyweds, as soon as they can escape their wedding reception, they can begin their honeymoon and marriage together as man and wife. Depending on the religion, wealth and family status of the bride and groom, a Middle-Eastern/North African/South Asian newlywed couple may have long celebrations and wedding feasts to endure before the bride is brought to her husband's wedding chamber, usually by his female relatives. Once alone, the groom will examine and admire his bride's henna decorations. By some customs, he may not consummate the marriage until he finds his initials or name in her decorations, which could be anywhere, and could take hours to find. This could be rather frustrating for the poor groom, but lends to much enjoyment for both in the search.

An additional example of henna's significance in eroticism is often revealed at wedding preparation henna parties where women share honeymoon tales. At such a gathering, a woman told the group about her Iranian grandmother's wedding henna which featured ancient Persian poetry written on the inside of her legs, leading to a heavenly honeymoon paradise. This brought much laughter and gaiety, and others shared similar anecdotes of erotic henna decorations of flowers and fruit in similarly strategic locations. To most Middle-Eastern/North African/South Asian men, the mere site of a henna decoration on their mate arouses desire; the smell of the herb's paste left on the skin causes the same reaction. This probably brings back memories of his wedding night. An affectionate wife will have henna decorations done as a surprise for her husband, for both their enjoyment. In the American culture, the most comparable occasion is a couple getting tattoos of each other's names on their bodies, usually in rather personal areas. A tattoo is permanent, so a tattoo of a lover's or mate's name is not only a work or art, but a statement of commitment and can be a great turn-on to the couple.